Life isn't a Hallmark movie

A few nights ago I was suffering from sleep depravation and intermittent nightmares when I could fall asleep. In the middle of one of my more vivid dreams, I dreamed that I came back to my blog and got it going again. I even named it the title "Life isn't a Hallmark movie". So upon waking, I've decided to jump back here to let out some thoughts I have, and maybe in the process, I can help others who are in similar situations.

This Christmas season, I've enjoyed a few of the Christmas Hallmark movies that have come out. They are always so cheesy and perfect. Girl wishes for a guy. Someone magic shows up. Guy falls for girl and they kiss by a tree. It's heavenly. It's the stuff that romantic people like myself eat up.

My other favorite ones are where the loved one has a tight family, the grandparent is ill, they go into the hospital and everyone stands around the bed, full of love, crying softly, as their beloved family member crosses into eternal glory.

And here is where I have my issue. Life isn't like that. It's full of hard times. Full of drama. Full of unexpected heartache. People do get sick, but not when or how you expect it. People do fall in love, but it takes work to keep it healthy. Characters in Hallmark movies never experience caregiver burnout, or adjustment disorders, or the feelings of being an udder failure. We, who are on the other side of the screen, do. Plus, we have bad hair days and clothes that don't fit and may or may not have stains on them.

My mom is facing her last move soon. She has gotten to the point that she needs someone to be with her all the time and can no longer live alone. This is a huge loss for her, as her independence is what has kept her going for years. Dementia has set in and I am the bad guy. They say that is normal for someone who is the caretaker. It sucks. I've never seen anyone in a Hallmark movie deal with this. My sister and I will have to make some very tough decisions soon and I'm still waiting for people on the set to come and do my hair and make-up. Sadly, this is not a dress rehearsal.

So I will face each day, dressed in my Wal-Mart clothes and minimal make-up, and do the best that I can. I don't have a script, definitely no background music, and the ending won't be all neat and tidy, but I will have my memories, and my family, and my faith.

I guess that's better than a Hallmark movie.

Project Life: An introduction

I've been scrapbooking for about 10 years. I'll spare you the long story about how I started with paper and adhesive and punches. :) Suffice it to say, I have a love for all things office supply-ish and my heart rate actually increases every time I pass Staples...especially during dollar days...but I digress. In 2007 I stumbled upon digital scrapbooking. I found a delightful hobby that allows me to change my mind (even after I've "cut" a piece of paper) and gives me the freedom to move things and change things on a whim. Perfect for a frustrated perfectionist like me. I was sold! Come to mama!

Another thing that changed with my new digital love is my approach to scrapbooking. I went from a super chronological and very simple scrapper using ONLY things that were PROVEN to be archival to a scrapper of wild abandon. I scrapped any picture I wanted and used all kinds of yummy things on my pages, like flowers and staples and BRADS! Because it was digital, I no longer had to worry about hurting my precious memories. Scanning older photos and working with them was sublime!

That went well for a good many years. However, as life moves at warp speed, I was afraid that I was missing the everyday things. You know, the "what's going on right now" memories. I pondered going back to being a chronological scrapper, but couldn't stomach it. Then one day, my prayers were answered. Enter in Project Life.

Project Life was THE answer for me. I searched and found many other scrappers who had found success with it and even some that had been doing it for years. The best part is that I could do it traditionally or digitally! I did start some using a kit that Becky sells, but found, once again, for this season in my life, if it's going to get done, then it's going to have to be digitally.
I can't say that I'm totally caught up with my weeks, but I still am loving doing the pages and documenting LIFE. :) Here are the first examples for your viewing pleasure!

Now if you are thinking to yourself, "Erika, this is super cool, but it's already May! I'll start after the first of the year.", then let me say emphatically, DON'T WAIT!!! Start now! You won't regret it! If you'd like some help getting started, let me know if I can help you. Leave a comment and I'll be glad to see what I can do for you!

~Erika, official memory capturer

What's in a name?

If you have been wondering why I named this blog A Calico Life, then hopefully, by the time I've finished this post, you will no longer be in the dark. It will truly be a hodge podge of info and updating as to my life these past few weeks. In fact, there are so many random things to mention, that I hardly know where to start!

GOOD NEWS

The planting has been a success so far. With regular watering, some verbal encouragement, and frequent screaming at a certain Calico, our green friends have obliged us with flowers, leaves, and fruit. I've tasted 2 of the strawberries and they were yummy!

Bad news

We all have been struggling with some sort of ailment or another. Ear infections, colds, sore throats, etc... Not fun at all. However, it does make you grateful for healing. Also, Jim's mom has had many close calls and we watch helplessly as she slowly slips away from us.

GOOD NEWS

The kites from the kids' Easter baskets were a big hit! At one point we had 5 kites up in the air. The children kept saying how fun it was to give the cars on the frontage road something pretty to look at. Even the construction workers from the acreage next door honked their horns in approval. Seeing Ryan fly his first kite was a treat. That familiar pull on your arm as you hold the handle was a delight to him. He was proud to "drive the kite". Even Sushi came to enjoy the goings on.

Bad news

Sometimes life is just hard. Sometimes you go to great lengths to treat your family to pizza. Sometimes you find that someone enjoyed your pizza before you could even get to it. Sometimes you have to call the pizza people and tell them how angry you are and that you don't have lunch for your children. Sometimes they are just as horrified as you. Sometimes they give you a gift card for your trouble. Sometimes, after a day or so, you laugh at the story. Sometimes.

GOOD NEWS!

We are loving the Spring weather here. Last week we spent a half hour chasing the butterflies in the back yard trying to take its picture. It was a well deserved break from all the worries of the day. Even my Nasturtiums have decided to come out and play!

 Now do you understand about my Calico life? :)  Hopefully in the next few days I'll share some pics of my ongoing scrapbooking and crochet projects. I even have a little quilting project to share, but it's a Mother's Day secret. ;) Thanks for reading!

~Erika, lover of all things Calico

When the going gets tough, the tough get growing!

I was in a funk, as my mother coined it many a year ago. You know. That place where even a cold diet Dr. Pepper and the color pink can't get you smiling. It wasn't a surprise, actually. The past few weeks, even months, have been "roller-coastery" at best. Many things were/are going on: Melissa's admittance to BYU and all that goes with planning that from hundreds of miles away, Jim's mom and her failing health, 2 funerals for young people that we had grown to love...

And in the midst of it all, I had gotten to a place where I felt like I was missing it all. My kids are growing up faster than I care for them to and soon the little ones would be filling out their own college admission papers. I wanted to shout, "Hey! Wait a minute! I'm not done yet!"

Enter in, stage left, Blogs. It may sound crazy, but when I get to this dismal existance, I turn to a few blogs that help me remember what's important in life. One of my favorites has pictures of beautiful flowers that she has sprouted and I was instantly calmed by the color and delicate nature of their blossems...Her home shows warmth and love...Her life shows simplicity...Sigh...

Then I remembered the little jars that Rebekah had waiting in my bathroom. They were filled with the most adorable beginnings of butternut squash. Just 3 little plants, but they had been planted by HER and she tenderly referred to them as her "babies" and coddled them just as such. Hmmm....Yes! I believe planting those babies was in order!

Wal-Mart must have seen me coming. Not only did we get a pool to plant her babies in, but we ended up with tomatoes, flowers, squash, strawberries, more tomatoes, seeds for flowers, some herbs, and...did I mention tomatoes?

Jazz hands!

Needless to say, we all planted our hearts out and found that missing piece (peace). Every morning these new babies are tended to with the sweetest of care. I feel more centered. More connected. We are doing something together. We're making memories. It's all good!

I might just be crazy...

So why in the world would a mom to 6 children, who homeschools 4 of them, want to create a blog? I mean, really. Why? Do I have anything to share with people? Well...maybe. I suppose this new adventure is about me needing to share my stories, to document that I was here, to remember the good the bad and the crazy.
Honestly, over the past few months I've come to love reading others' blogs. They've shown me beauty and life from each of their viewpoints. I feel like I've come to know them as friends, even if we've never met.
So if you're the adventurous type, enjoy the crazy rabbit trails of life, and can put up with a bazillion pictures of my family and pets, then you're in the right place.