Life isn't a Hallmark movie

A few nights ago I was suffering from sleep depravation and intermittent nightmares when I could fall asleep. In the middle of one of my more vivid dreams, I dreamed that I came back to my blog and got it going again. I even named it the title "Life isn't a Hallmark movie". So upon waking, I've decided to jump back here to let out some thoughts I have, and maybe in the process, I can help others who are in similar situations.

This Christmas season, I've enjoyed a few of the Christmas Hallmark movies that have come out. They are always so cheesy and perfect. Girl wishes for a guy. Someone magic shows up. Guy falls for girl and they kiss by a tree. It's heavenly. It's the stuff that romantic people like myself eat up.

My other favorite ones are where the loved one has a tight family, the grandparent is ill, they go into the hospital and everyone stands around the bed, full of love, crying softly, as their beloved family member crosses into eternal glory.

And here is where I have my issue. Life isn't like that. It's full of hard times. Full of drama. Full of unexpected heartache. People do get sick, but not when or how you expect it. People do fall in love, but it takes work to keep it healthy. Characters in Hallmark movies never experience caregiver burnout, or adjustment disorders, or the feelings of being an udder failure. We, who are on the other side of the screen, do. Plus, we have bad hair days and clothes that don't fit and may or may not have stains on them.

My mom is facing her last move soon. She has gotten to the point that she needs someone to be with her all the time and can no longer live alone. This is a huge loss for her, as her independence is what has kept her going for years. Dementia has set in and I am the bad guy. They say that is normal for someone who is the caretaker. It sucks. I've never seen anyone in a Hallmark movie deal with this. My sister and I will have to make some very tough decisions soon and I'm still waiting for people on the set to come and do my hair and make-up. Sadly, this is not a dress rehearsal.

So I will face each day, dressed in my Wal-Mart clothes and minimal make-up, and do the best that I can. I don't have a script, definitely no background music, and the ending won't be all neat and tidy, but I will have my memories, and my family, and my faith.

I guess that's better than a Hallmark movie.